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Digg has grown over the last couple years from a small community of tech enthusiasts sharing nerdy news to a huge internet powerhouse, which has turned the tide of the US democratic primaries, taken down a cult, and made news left and right, spawning several copycat sites. But despite being arguably the most mainstream site of its kind, it still is not free of the countless horrors that spawn in the seedy underbelly of the net. Today, we take you on a virtual safari to show you some of the worst species in the digg community.

7.The Powerusers (Diggitus Eliteus)

Top 100 Diggers

Threat Level: 4

These are the most prominent nuisances on Digg, but perhaps the most harmless. In fact, they tend to be fairly beneficial to the community on a whole, but don’t be fooled. They are still a problem. They find articles and submit them, just like your average user, but the difference is that these articles will make it to the front page with little to no effort, while average users are forced to spend hours promoting their submissions, begging anyone and everyone for that one little digg to get them to the front page. They are the alpha-males of the digg herd, and for those beta- to omega-males, this can be quite a frustration.

Feeds on: The devotion of their hordes of fans, and the souls of the damned.

6. Refreshers (Diggitus Obsessi)

Cracked and XKCD

Threat Level: 4

Of a slight relation to the Powerusers, these users can be found refreshing XKCD.com and Cracked.com relentlessly at midnight, hoping to be the first to submit an article which will inevitably make it to the front page and getting that tiny taste of fame. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, you’ll see a thousand identical submissions from these automatons. Odds are, they’ll make it to the front page once or twice in their short lifetimes, milk it for everything it’s worth, and then die a slow peaceful death, forgotten like so many one-hit wonders.

Feeds on: Short fleeting moments of pseudo-fame, and cheap frozen dinners.

5. The “Old” Police (Diggitus Geezerus)

Old People Comment

Threat Level: 5

These are seen everywhere, disguised as regular users, until somebody submits something that the user saw a year or so ago. Then they will pop out of their hobbit-holes to comment-blast the submission with claims that their submission is ‘old as the internet’, or that it was submitted 2 years ago to digg when nobody actually saw it. They seem to suffer from delusions, thinking that if they’ve seen something, everyone else must have seen it as well. Most often, they complain that things are old only because they are mad at themselves for not thinking to submit it earlier.

Feeds on: Their own inability to comprehend that not everyone has been on the internet since the early 90’s.

4. The Article Snobs (Diggitus Notgonnadiggit)

Snobby Comments

Threat Level: 7

The Article Snobs come in many forms. They could be seen bitching and moaning that an article was put on two pages to help increase much-needed ad revenue, or whining about how horrible the Daily Mail is, but only after reluctantly and hypocritically digging it, favoriting it, and shouting it to all their friends, so that their spiteful little comments can get seen by more people. They can easily be spotted by their big, sharp, pointy teeth, and refusal to digg this article, because “who cares about some guy’s blog?”

Feeds on: High-end ramen noodles and pure, raw hatred.

3. Obama Lovers and Hillary Haters (Diggitus Changeusa)

Obama Wankers

Threat Level: 8

These are everywhere now, slowly spreading like some kind of political plague. One cannot look at the front page without at least 10 articles either claiming Obama’s godliness or (ironically) belittling Clinton’s belittling attitude. They are a mutation of the regular user (Who simply likes Obama, not loves), designed to stop at nothing to make sure that everyone knows that Obama is the best thing since Chuck Norris. We get it, you think Obama should be president. Now shut up about it until it comes time to vote. They will digg up any and all articles with a positive light on Obama, then comment the same old stale comments that America needs change, or that Hillary is a bitch. (Which are true, but seriously, STFU already.)

Feeds on: Political articles and pseudo-intellectual debate.

2. The 4chan Rejects (Diggitus Anonymus)

4chan logo

Threat level: OVER 9000!!!!!

CAUTION. If you spot this breed of digger, don’t make any sudden movements, and slowly make your way to the nearest adult. 4chan Rejects can be hazardous to your health.

This is a species becoming more and more common by the day. They are the cancer that’s killing digg, taking it over with LOLcats and demotivational posters. These crude beasts are spewed forth from the asshole of the net, /b/, prepared to regurgitate memes left and right until they become funny, and turn more decent human beings into more mudkip-lieking, facepalming, pedobear-posting abominations. They’re like zombies or vampires, but exponentially less cool. Luckily for you, they’re easy to identify. Just follow the trail of Captain Picards and O RLY? owls until you find someone wearing a Guy Fawkes mask, then block their ass from here to eternity.

NOMS ON: Stale memes, delicious copypasta, and tears of fallen angels.

1. The Flaming Complainers (Diggitus Getthefuckouticus)

GARRRGH IM A BABY

Threat Level: 10

These are by far the most annoying people ever to grace the vast plains (and tubes) of the internet. They will complain about any of the other top 7, and even complain about their own kind. Some of the most annoying ones can be found making ‘Top 7’ lists declaring their hatred of other diggers. The more mild sub-species are usually caught commenting about how they think MrBabyMan should quit digg, or moaning about the current political domination of Digg. Several of them will simply just yell at everyone on digg because it’s far to strenuous to find a reason to yell at someone.

Feeds on: The pain and suffering of others.

98 Comments

  1. Good list mate.

  2. Shut the fuck up, you’re just as bad as ALL of them.

  3. WOW! Very bold and strong. Good thing you hid your identity so no one can find out who you are.

  4. rules 1 & 2

  5. this is completely true….I wonder how many Diggs this will get by tomorrow…

  6. You forgot about all the apple fan boys and M$ haterz..

  7. Glad you included the wannabe failchanfags in there, I’m sick of the Digg assholes who think they are “Anonymous.”

  8. Far and away the most annoying group are the blindly loyal, more-true-American-than-thou Ron Paul supporters.

  9. great haha , ha

  10. So does this article make you a Flaming Complainer?

  11. 4chan is not nearly the worst, and YOU DIDNT EVEN INCLUDE RON PAUL ZOMBIES. This is a terrible article, you fail at digg analysis.

  12. amazing. I love you!

  13. “Some of the most annoying ones can be found making β€˜Top 7β€² lists declaring their hatred of other diggers.”

    You sir, are a hypocrite.

  14. You forgot “Diggus Listus” Threat Level 100,000

    People who, with little or no research find something they can list and submit it.

    “The Top blah blah blah”

  15. FUCKING WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  16. digg is for wankers and tossers. but i do love digg, just the wankers and tossers i can’t stand.

    better off going to /.

  17. STFU AND STOP WHINING.

  18. Nice list! Love the threat-levels and Greek derivatives, this made me laugh πŸ™‚

  19. FAKE!!!

  20. So that would make you a member of group #1, correct?

  21. lol, hilarious list, just forgot the Ron Paul nutcases πŸ™‚

  22. The more I think about this here is what I believe:
    Hillary is between a rock and a hard place. Her only hope is that the truth about Obama will be recognized before the convention is over. Otherwise she has to wait, let McCain win and run next time.
    The Republicans want Obama to get the nomination because he can’t win. They are waiting to pull out the big guns like the M Obama β€œwhitey” video, etc.

  23. There’s a lot of articles lately about digg and its users. What’s with top 7 lists, what happened to top 5 or top 10? Whats with blogs. Why would anyone think anyone wants to read theirs?

  24. From #5 on your list, I’ll congratulate you on a well written article. I can digg it!

    -chanop
    http://digg.com/health/Don_t_light_your_crotch_on_fire_gif?t=15474049#c15474049

  25. so I herd you leik mudkips

  26. LOL, very interesting and well put

  27. I’m confused. Obama supporters are annoying and Ron Paul supporters aren’t? Perhaps you could say that the political zealots, regardless of their particular deity, are “Diggitus Changeusa”.

  28. this is why I keep coming back to Digg though, this article. something new for once. any internet surfing addict knows stuff keeps getting recycled or dicks are out there clogging up the comments. It’s called speed reading. though i have to stop myself on occasion, and read a real book once in a while.

  29. lame.

  30. So which one are you again?

  31. This article was fucking horrible, i’m sorry but you missed the mark on so many of your topics, a cheap article to get to the digg frontpage should also be one of your ‘users’

    ‘whining about how horrible the Daily Mail is, but only after reluctantly and hypocritically digging it, favoriting it, and shouting it to all their friends, so that their spiteful little comments can get seen by more people.’

    I seriously doubt anybody does that, the daily mail articles _are_ awful, and are usually spammed to the front page, anybody who see’s them often knows that. If your not from the U.K. you wouldn’t understand the shoddyness of their content.

    Also checking out your digg profile: “I’m a hippie/nerd/troll” Troll? That isn’t really the best category to place yourself in as a digg user.

  32. Worse then that is the bloggers that post something that’s hit the frontpage within a few hours on their own blog (pictures, video, etc) and then submit it (generally making mention of the article that had just been on Digg a few hours back).

  33. dugg!

  34. Congrats! You made it to the front page of digg!

  35. Hi Digg!

  36. What about the guy that continues to beat a webmeme phrase to death and gets 500+ comment diggs thereby justifying his stupidity.

    FUCKING GUYS SUCK

  37. 3. Obama Lovers and Hillary Haters (Diggitus Changeusa)

    Thar the reason I barely goto digg anymore

  38. “Some of the most annoying ones can be found making β€˜Top 7β€² lists declaring their hatred of other diggers.”

    But.. You just made a top 7 list. XP

  39. 1. Pot meet kettle.

  40. OMG lolcats lololololol!!111

    Nice Post dude.

    Threat level: OVER 9000!!!!!

    I’d lol to that! AMEN…

  41. Yeh well i will be part of the Old police i hate it when People digg Imgs that are old as tits.

  42. There can be no greater, nor more complete a list of the worst of the digg spawn

  43. Still worse: the Ron Paul nuts.

  44. Spectacular article! Good work, blogger!

  45. Ha, ha, ha
    Nice tangent you have there πŸ˜€

  46. I just want to know, am I in the minority of people who actually look at who submitted an article? Before this whole MrBabyMan thing started a week ago, I never looked at a submitter (and really still don’t).

    Do some people really keep track of this thing for competitive purposes? I can see a reason to watch for cheating/bots submitting but really..who cares?

  47. *
    …minority of people who *don’t* look at who submitted….

  48. Ugh. I spend so much time trying to find traffic for my blog only to be thwarted by people looking for minor online victories.

  49. screw digg

  50. A very entertaining article. Thanks for the smile.

  51. I think it’s ironic you blame newfags for re-hashing memes when the last picture is directly ripped from 4chan.

    No, John, you are the cancer.

  52. 1&2 Fag. Your front page article causes more cancer

  53. fuck you

  54. Bitching about Obama spam, and the “possibly related post” is… OBAMA!!!!!!

    If it wasn’t your own site, I wouldn’t find it nearly as funny.

  55. wow! very informative. thanks

  56. Umm… Excuse me, aren’t you forgetting someone?

  57. As I heard one minister say, “hurting people hurt other people …” Check out the lives of these sour, lemon faced people who never praise, but always find something to moan about and behind it, you will find some serious hurting.

    These people don’t make good relators on or off the web.

    As I know Mother Teresa would say , “pray for them anyway.” πŸ™‚

    Trish

  58. I loved it. You should add one more user– the non-offensive self-promoter–who submits their own articles from a WordPress blog, just for the hell of it, knowing that it will never get read, but that the digg icon, just looks a little cute on their page.

  59. The 4chan rejects had me laughing. Good post.

  60. As a person who has never used digg (I mean I have dug stuff before, with a shovel, but oh, you know what I mean), this was all very interesting. Sometimes I marvel that we are on the same earth – so much happens that I have no clue about. And it goes way beyond digg I’m afraid.

  61. Ha =) I love this. Sooo true. The flaming complainers are my biggest complaint. There are so many angry people out there! I understand people have opinions and want to express them but it seems like the blogging community is giving a voice to the shy computer people out there that are secretly thinking evil thoughgs all day and finally get a chance to express themselves where they can be heard/read.

  62. I like how you gave each species a Latin name. It reminds me of those Roadrunner cartoons.

  63. lol that is awesome as hell….i should digg this !!!!! lol XD

  64. I must be really annoying since was banned after like my second comment on the site a while back. Did create another account but have never commented again. I still enjoy checking out the latest posts and reading the comments. The site was revolutionary when it first hit the internet.

  65. You missed one:

    2.5. The Olbermann-iacs.

    Threat Level: 62
    These are the the people that most vociferously attack Dittoheads and O’Reilley clones, yet feel the need to post links to virtually every video of Keith Olbermann that hits the web. Whether it is intelligent or banal, these ‘Friends Of Keith’ have to promote his mantras. Stupid FOK-ers.

    Feeds on: Whatever regurgitative material exists.

  66. “Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

    * Obama Fired Up Over McCain”

    irony strikes again

  67. Great post! I love it and have slowly begun to hate Digg….

  68. LOL! Nice list.

  69. That was funny enough to almost make me wish that I was a big enough tech-nerd to understand it all.

  70. Are you one of the “The Flaming Complainers”?

  71. lol. I like 2 the best :p

  72. Nice.

  73. hey man, nice article though you can generalize this to all internet users without major modifications. good work…

  74. Im an Obama supporter hopfuly Im the one youre talking about.

  75. This post is older than John McCain.

    Just kidding, this is hilarious. I don’t even know what Digg is and I was laughing out loud.

  76. Looks like Igor The Troll needs to go to Digg and do his job!

  77. I’m out of the loop because my only experience with Digg is “what the hell is this icon I see everywhere now?” but I laughed anyway because this is by no means a localized problem, it’s metastasized to the entire internet and analog society in general.

    OVER 9000!?

    haha

  78. Good one mate.

  79. lol… this was too funny! especially like that last pic, scary/sweet and too damn accurate!

  80. classic!

  81. Haha. Pretty accurate. And a lot of those people do annoy me.

  82. Great list, but your commenters are idiots. Do Digg-ers lack snark detection? (I found this through wordpress)

  83. Well done!

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  85. fighissimo

  86. Love it. I never got into digg, but it really fits some other communities as well.

  87. Basement cat and ceiling cat have both rejected you. Where are you going to go?

  88. hahahaha!! this is so hilarious! True though… but hilarious. Doesn’t that become pretty much everybody though?

  89. he he cool one

  90. i felt confuse..whats on digg??????????

  91. LAME

  92. we are the unseen
    we are legion
    we are monotonous

  93. Anonymous ftw

  94. Good post. This can help make my blog better

    whats wrong with anonymity on the net? Why is there this push on the net nowadays to find out who’s who? There is no need to know who the person is if you do your own research.

  95. Ron Paul zombies? What’s so bad about Ron Paul? He’s not my candidate but he has some good ideas.

  96. @ arradmin

    It’s the US government. They see Anonymous taking down scientology, and they realize that if Anonymous wanted, they could pose a serious threat to the government. So they plan to take down anonymous before they have a chance.

  97. Digg is lame. I hate Yahoo, but Yahoo Buzz is so much better then Digg.

  98. Yah ive seen this same shit before but I guess retards such as everyone else would still think its funny.

    I love the post above though, Peace MAN!


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